Hello, friends! I hope you're having a good week.
If we were meeting together today, you would probably notice that something is up with me. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my anxiety and depression. I thought I was doing well at the time but honestly I probably could already feel a relapse coming or I was at least trying to prevent a relapse by reminding myself of my "techniques".
Well, when depression and anxiety are a chemical imbalance, like mine is, those techniques help but sometimes the meds need adjusted.
I knew Sunday night, that I was feeling sad and still not well physically. I got an appt with my Dr.'s PA first thing Monday morning and lo and behold I had bronchitis on top of the anxiety and depression. I made an appt to talk to my Dr. about my meds and the earliest I could get in was yesterday morning.
Tuesday was pretty much a blur of crying and sobbing.
Wednesday was pretty much a blur of extreme anxiety and wanting to cry.
My appt was first thing Thursday morning, so we got the kids to school and went straight there. My anxiety is always worse in the morning and I knew I was going to be "talking" about "it" with my dr so I was a big messy ball of anxiety with every muscle in my body clenched.
I cried, he comforted, he explained everything again and told me we'd get it figured out. We added Abilify back to my combo again. It worked really well last time I tried it. It is crazy expensive so that is why I ended up off the Abilify/Lexapro combo and on Paxil instead. I just "happened" to get a coupon in the mail a few days ago for only a $25 co-pay on Abilify. God is good!
So, friends, I am begging for your prayers! I know I am in a constant state of prayer and pleading. Please pray that the Abilify works well.
I also ask that you pray that I have the confidence and strength to finally make an appt. to start seeing a therapist. I've said about it for years but once the meds are working, I like to forget about my issues. Until they come back and I can't ignore them.
As my dear husband, who has been with me through every step of this, told me Wednesday: It is time I stop letting my depression and anxiety control me and time for me to take control of it. If that means keeping regular appts with my dr and seeing a counselor, I must be brave and do it.
I can conquer!
Through all these things I can conquer through Him who loves me. Romans 8:37