Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Where are you Christmas? I need to find you!

Sickness has hit our house.  Long, long nights with children throwing up all over the place.  On the floor, in their bed, in MY bed.

I thought this Christmas was shaping up to be a pretty good one.  I really needed this Christmas to be a good one. 

The past few haven't been for the most part.  I'm getting disenchanted.  Maybe it is a mom thing.  Is it?

Let me go back a few years.

December 2006-  Pregnant and miserable.  Dealing with Dep/Anx.

December 2007-  Don't really remember.  How sad...

December 24, 2008,  noonish-  We're at the Dr's office.  My dad can't move his right eye.  We are sent to the radiology department with possbilities of a brain tumor.  Thank God it turned out to be that his insulin spiked and had effected the nerves at his eye.  It would heal.  He is now on diet and meds to regulate his sugar.

December 24, 2008, 10pm-ish - Doug and I are sick as dogs.  At both ends, if you know what I mean...  Shivers, shakes, sick, sick, sick.  Sickest I'd been for a long time.  For a few days.

December, 2009-  Doug falls out of his tree while hunting.  Breaks his heel bone and a vertebrae.  Everything falls on me.  And I had decreased my depression meds that summer.  Slippery slope.  I just wanted to cancel Christmas.

November, 2010-  Dealt pretty hard with my anxiety/depression.

December, 2010-  Looking forward to Christmas!  Not over scheduling, just taking things as they come and enjoying myself.

Now-  kids are sick, I'm so tired that I could puke.  I feel the need to sanitize the entire house.  The dogs decided last night would be a good night to poop and pee all over the house.  Really need to sanitize...

My dad has been sick for weeks.  Thought it was the flu.  Maybe it is.  He hasn't been eating and he wants to lay around all the time.  If he's not better, today we're forcing him to go to the VA Clinic.

We only have one car.  My van.  The Subaru that we thought we got a great deal on happens to have a very rusty frame.  What to do?

Doug is on second shift, meaning this morning is when I would have to get groceries because I could have the van.  Do I feel like doing that?  Nope!

People are supposed to be coming to my house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I want to cancel it all.  Say the heck with it.

I have piles of pukey laundry to wash, pukey floors to scrub and a bad attitude to get rid of.  I know it.  I really do.  Pray for me...

I want to go to bed and wake up on the other side of Christmas.

Where are you, Christmas that I dreamed of?  Can I find you on the other side of the laundry pile?  On the other side of a clean floor?  On the other side of worry and fear?  On the other side of what is possible PMS?

My kids are on the  upswing.  Pray though that we can find out what is going on with my dad.  It really scares me.  :(

Thanks.  Hope I haven't depressed you too...

Feeling Like the Grinch Today,


  1. Colletta, bless your heart! I will say a prayer for you and your family today. Hopefully, you'll all be feeling better by Saturday! :o)

  2. Oh, Lettie, I will pray for all of you, but honey remember this, the very first Christmas was, I am sure, the biggest inconvenience for Mary and Joseph. Talk about pregnant and miserable and then to have to travel hundreds of miles on a "rusty" donkey in that condition only to find no where to stay when you got there.
    But our greatest joy came from their misery and then the birth at the most inconvenient time. That is what we are celebrating.
    Look for the joy, others don't care if your house is Martha Stewart beautiful. It would be if you had all the people she has.
    I feel for you, just one step at a time, one project at a time, prioritize, and let what doesn't matter go, no one will notice.
    I love you and Doug, I love your parents, give the girls a big hug for me. I am praying for you right now.

  3. Oh Colletta, I wish I could come there and give you a big hug and help out with those precious girls of yours. I wish I could help with the cooking and cleaning and "sanitizing" too. But all I can do is say a prayer for you today, and trust that tomorrow will be a better day. Hang in there ... and have a very Merry Christmas this year!!

  4. Oh Lettie! Rhonda said everything so well!!

    Lots of prayers for you and your family!


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