Health Management ~ Session 2 Part 2 ~ Teaching Obedience ~ 2/21/13
Insights from my visits with Art, the Christian Counselor.
I had my second meeting with Art last week. We talked most about relationships. How to discipline my children and be consistent was the main focus because I have to admit that I have a habit of giving "reprieves" on punishment.
We've really been working on obedience. If they don't obey, I give them a warning that if I have to tell them again there will be a consequence. As a result, my kids now say my favorite word is "consequence". In our house consequences look like: no electronics, no Pet Shops etc.
Art reminded me to never give a "consequence" when you're angry because most likely it will be more severe then deserved. I try to take that into consideration and have been giving consequences by the day to my 6-year-old. Instead of no electronics for a week, I'll take them away for a day, or two days depending on the situation. At one point, she had racked up so many days of consequences that I had to start keeping track on the dry erase board in the kitchen.
Now, with my 7th grader, the consequences could be by the week because she has learned more about obedience and is more mature. I really haven't had to actually give her any consequences yet. She either listens the first time or the warning is enough to get her moving.
My point is that I try to keep the consequences age appropriate.
So, do you agree with my kids? Is "consequences" my new favorite word? If that is what it takes to get some order and obedience in my home, I'll even agree :)
Some days it has been really hard not to give a reprieve but I've been standing strong.
Next, here are a few items from a list of ways we provoke our children to anger taken from The Heart of Anger - Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children by Lou Priolo. Art gave me a handout with a list and the coordinating scriptures.
~LACK OF MARITAL HARMONY - Gen 2:24, Hebrews 12:15
~ESTABLISHING AND MAINTAINING A CHILD CENTERED HOME - Prov 29:15
~MODELING SINFUL ANGER - Prov. 22; 24-25
~HABITUALLY DISCIPLINING WHILE ANGRY - Psalm 38:1, James 29-20
~BEING INCONSISTENT WITH DISCIPLINE - 2 Cor 1:17-18, Eccl. 8:11
~HAVING DOUBLE STANDARDS - Phil 4:9
~NOT ADMITTING YOU'RE WRONG OR ASKING FORGIVENESS - Matt 5:23-24, James 5:16
~CONSTANTLY FINDING FAULT - Job 32:2-3, Prov 19:11
~PARENTS REVERSING GOD GIVEN ROLES - Eph 5: 22-24
~COMPARING THEM TO OTHERS - 2 Cor 10:12
~FAILING TO KEEP YOUR PROMISES - Matt 5:37, Psalm 15:4-5, Col 3:9
That is about half of the list. If you'd like me to post more, please let me now in the comments and I'll dedicate another post to this topic.
Last, I'd like to ask for your prayers as my husband and I endeavor to teach our children obedience. I will also be praying for all my readers with children who are molding and shaping their children into who God wants them to be.
"And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying,“Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Luke 18: 15-17
My kids are older now, but when they were little, consequences were a great "punishment". And for each child it was different!! My son, take away his music and he was lost. My daughter, take away the phone, and my youngest, take away the TV. There was once when I had given a punishment when I was angry. I realized I was harsh, and that gave me a chance to show 'grace'. One thing that we always agreed on, was that church activities would NEVER be used as a consequence. Keeping kids from youth group/kids club just didnt 'feel' right.ReplyDelete