Health Management ~Session 2 Part 1 ~ Love Languages ~ 2/14/13
Insights from my visits with Art, the Christian Counselor.
I had my second meeting with Art earlier in the week. We talked most about relationships. How to discipline my children and be consistent was the main focus because I have to admit that I have a habit of giving "reprieves" on punishment.
We also talked about my relationship with my husband. I'm going to focus on this today because it is, after-all, Valentine's Day :)
Communication is key in a marriage. Discussing daily choices and major decisions is part of that but it also entails how we communicate our love to our spouse.
A few years ago, I read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and found it very interesting. I tried to pass along the main points to my husband as I was reading but he would inevitable fall asleep or not pay attention. So when Art gave me a handout with the 5 Love Languages, I decided to try again to discuss them with the hubby.
In case you've never heard of "The Five Love Languages" they are:
QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
ACTS OF SERVICE
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
GIVING (RECEIVING) GIFTS
We usually appreciate all these languages but there will be two main languages that make you feel the most loved and two that make your husband feel the most loved. The goal is to love your spouse in "their" love language and not "your" love language which I think is our natural instinct to do. We think, "This is what makes me feel loved, so it will also make him feel loved."
For instance my main love languages are Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. By Physical Touch, I mean holding hands, hugging, snuggling, sitting close together on the couch, sitting beside each other in a room full of people etc. And I can't help it, but I just need to hear nice things. I have a fairly low-self esteem and hearing nice words helps to boost my confidence.
My husband, on the other hand, says that his Love Languages are Quality Time Together and Acts of Service. He's content to sit and watch TV together or go for a car ride. Making sure he has clean jeans and supper are examples of Acts of Service.
When I started really thinking of each of our main Love Languages, I could see that we were trying to love each other in our own Language instead of each other's Love Language.
We're going to work on this together. I ordered "The Five Love Languages" on CD so that we could "listen" to it together point by point. My husband isn't a reader but he thankfully agreed to listen to the CD together.
I'll let you know what we think of it.
Have you read the book? What are your main two Love Languages? How about your spouse's? Do you love them in your Language or his? How does he love you?
I'd "love" some feedback on this subject, so comment away! (There goes my Words of Affirmation! lol)
This is my husband and me EXACTLY. I'm physical touch + word of affirmation. He's great at cuddling, holding my hand, but words of affirmation are not his strong suit! He LOVES quality time and acts of service. I'm great at quality time (because hey, it works well with snuggling!) but not so great at acts of service.ReplyDelete
Loved this! ART has some great insight!
This isn't related to your post, but you won the Uncommon Goods giveaway. Stop by Everyday Ruralty. You need to decide between the pink or green, plus send me your home address so the company can ship them. Congratulations!ReplyDelete
I found your post through Amanda's Desire to Inspire, and I just wanted to say this is something that my husband and I are battling with right now, and you are totally right: communication is everything. You don't know what your husband/wife needs unless you ask! Thanks for the post. I hope to see more from you! =)ReplyDelete
Rachael @ The Growing Tree